show up.

Be present when others are not
then encourage others to show up.
Your presence is overwhelmingly important
and more than half the battle.

If you get the opportunity in the right environment, have a kid. Or multiple if you can.

Fair warning though, it will scare you in a way that is unlike anything you can encounter.

It’s like holding a piece of priceless glass, an heirloom or some ancestral pottery. They feel so delicate when you first have them, but it’s not just because they’re small and fragile; it’s because of the weight attached to it all. Having something or someone rely on you for their survival can be incredibly motivating. However, the same drive that forms to sustain a life, can also push us into a deep paralysis as we gaze into the eyes of a brand new life with every possibility on the horizon.

As a new dad, this was me. I knew on an intuitive level my life was going to be different, but no one can really prepare you for how different it actually is…and it’s terrifying. The last few weeks before my first child was born and the ensuing first month or two were a whirlwind of change as Kristen and I birthed new identities as parents. Seeking wisdom in the midst of it all, I asked my dad for some guidance and he said:

“85% of being a good parent is just showing up.”

Although I’m sure my dad has said more on the wisdom of parenting, this one has stuck with me for a lot of reasons; mainly because I’m grateful to have respect and love for my parents and the way they raised my brother, sister and me, and I saw this principle on display in our household. We were never loved by implication or suggestion. It was tangible.

If there’s any gift you can give to your children, give them your presence.

Likewise, if you get the opportunity to lead people, one of the best places to start is to show up; be present and engage.

Some of us feel like it has to be as close to perfect as well before we can do that, but we rarely if ever get that opportunity. We are as flawed, scarred and in need of the same things as the people next to us. There was a moment years ago where I had a worship leader upset and frustrated that her voice was a scratchy and she felt less than 100%, but I had no one else! I told her that her role as a worship leader was to encourage others to worship, and it starts with her being available and open. Her presence on the platform was the leadership people needed, not her voice.

As a leader, you have to invest your attention in those around you. This might cause you to slow down, but that’s okay. You are honoring the humanity of those you lead and the positive effects will multiply like compounded interest.

I won’t belabor the point because there are people who have discussed, researched and commented on this far better than I ever could, but we are more distracted than ever; and it’s not just your primary offenders either. It is not just because we are numbing away potential pain or addicted to dopamine hits through social media and phones. I do think it’s deeper than that. The gravity of optimization and efficiency is overwhelmingly strong in an effort to prove our worth as leaders, or to promote a picture of success. The weight of maximizing productivity and output is unbearable if we plan on chasing unsustainable growth as a means to satisfy our need to not miss out on whatever is next. Anything that distracts us, can end up dehumanizing those we lead and can sacrifice long-term growth for short term benefits.

Understanding our desire to be distracted, to avoid discomfort at all cost and living within that reality, it sets the bar pretty low. At this point in time being present is a radical shift in our cultural context and the amount that people respect and listen to you is directly proportional to how much you show up.

If we are created in the image of God, which I believe we are, we are wired to be like Him. This is the God who instead of just handing down commandments and judgement from on high, took it upon Himself to engage in our reality and struggles. He began to fix what we have screwed up. God isn’t just omnipresent, He is ever present; the Eternal Now.

The God With Us.

Everywhere you are, He is.

It seems only natural that the people we lead would resonate with this type of leadership.

Leading people can be hard, to put it simply. The difficulty of caring for and thinking about others is taxing and sometimes a bit disorienting. It can be hard to know what to do next.

If that’s the case for you today, maybe all you need to is show up.